Haze

It is wet and soggy
damp and grey
This sky is docile
stagnant
frozen

Droplets cover my vision
everything is hazy
everything is stopped

I beat my fists against the air
I scream into the silence
just to hear if your heart is beating
Beating out a rhythm for me

I want to grab this peace you give me
I want to grab it and tear it apart
Tear it down to that shiny off white and bloody bone

I can't keep listening to it
I can not keep feeling it
I must let it go before 

I must let it go
even though it is precious to me
even when I know I will lose a part of myself
even when I can already feel the loss

I will throw my head back and scream until all of this horrible happiness is gone from me
I will breathe in what I do not know to save what I do

But I refuse to forget, to give in, to cower
I refuse to give away all of my happiness no matter how wrong
I will never be able to let you go even if I never again speak your name
I will feel your breath on my lips

I will find myself in the dark and I will feel you there
I will allow the idea of you to rise up in me
I will love

Supernova

There is a universe inside her

An entire universe swirling, and gliding, and growing inside her

She holds the key to everything 

I can lose myself in her

There are no sharp angles, no corners,

nothing hard just swells of soft skin that rise up to me

I could take forever and just trace all her lines with fingertips that are dying to learn her
I have hands that fit to her hips with perfection
She has lips that mold into song

Harden

People say I never get angry

I'm not all hearts and flowers

But a rose-colored view of life

That I will lay claim to. 

But don't be fooled by that attitude

Don't assume it's because I'm naive 

I have scraped my way toward rosy

By breaking myself into shards along the way

It is more my seeing again and again 

What the darkness inside me is

More than fully capable of

Where those leathery wings want me to go

What she whispers in my heart

How wonderfully she twists me

So I choose rose

I chose to give control of myself over to another

I choose to listen to a voice inside

That is tiny and scared

Tiny and hidden almost completely 

Tiny and fierce

My hearts

My flowers

My colors full of rose

These things I chose 

If I don't you would only see  what is dark

You would only hear the lies she can tell

You would only know 

Truth